Neptune in 7th: Self-sacrifice in Marriage

It was a fairytale wedding at first

When Neptune appears in the 7th, the native gets an ideal fantasy match. Neptune, the planet of dreams, grants a fairytale wedding to the couple at the beginning. You will feel everything is so sweet and perfect. As time goes by, however, you start seeing flaws in your spouse. Maybe the spouse is a drinker, an alcoholic, a druggie or substance abuser. But you don't mind because you love him or her. Maybe the spouse will hit you, abuse you, steal your money, and leech on you. Again, you don't mind because you love him or her. Maybe your spouse will cheat on you, tell you lies and betray you with affairs. You found out about it, and your heart broke. But you forgive your spouse anyway, because you love him or her. Can you see a pattern where all these is leading to?  

       

Neptune is illusion. Neptune is denial of reality. It creates an escapist attitude towards marriage and you may keep denying that things are falling apart and that your spouse is in fact, an asshole. One day, the bubble may burst, and your eyes will open out to reality. Yes, reality is hard to deal with. 

Marriage turns you into Jesus

A Neptunian marriage needs a great and noble act of self-sacrifice. You will always be compassionate and gives unconditional love (like Jesus) and keeps forgiving and saving your spouse, who happens to be very needy. This sacrifice will be one-sided. But since Neptune is in your 7th, you will take pride in your martyrdom, feeling that your kindness is something that makes you feel better about yourself. You will willingly burn yourself at the stake just to keep your partner warm. This heartmoving sacrifice, however, is usually not appreciated by the spouse, who is basically someone out for a free lunch. Yet nothing is gonna stop you from giving, giving, and giving until the life expires from your body. This drive for self-sacrifice and martyrdom, is something that made Neptunians so angelic. 

Saturn in 7th - A Marriage of Convenience

A practical union

When Saturn appears in the 7th house of a natal chart, the individual will marry for convenience, and not love. Marriage will be contracted as a means to an end, being seen as a practical thing to do. Oftentime the person will make a cold, sober decision to marry, and calculate the potential benefits of that marriage. Yes, the usefulness of that marriage is weighted to decide if it is beneficial for him to marry, and this does not involve love. The rational mind will make a logical decision to marry, and marriage is a legal paper that can help him or her to solve problems, or achieve certain goals. The keyword here is "useful" and "rational". Feelings has absolutely nothing to do with it.

The native tends to marry a partner that is older and mature (> 4 years and above), responsible, dutiful, financially well off so that the spouse can provide materially for the household. The partner will also be very efficient and have great organizational abilities. This partner will take care of the practical, day-to-day living for the individual, so that he or she can be well-maintained and sustained.    

A mutually-beneficial exchange

Saturn is a cold and business-like planet which rules over money, career and status. The native with Saturn in 7th will treat marriage as a form of business transaction, a mutual exchange of goods / services - a quid pro quo. This exchange is viewed as fair and square. So the native believes a practical and useful marriage will make him happy, however, such a marriage tends to make the individual feels unloved and uncared for as time goes by. Initially, the native believes he or she has made the right choice. As time goes by, Saturn has a way of making the marriage feels dull and burdensome. It will feel like a duty, a responsibility, a "chain" weighting you down. Love gets eroded as time passes, and warmth and intimacy disappears. One day, the native will wake up and realize that love has gone out the window.

Yet the marriage will persevere. This is because Saturn rules longevity. There is a chance of a lasting marriage if the individual works very hard and persistently with great effort to "shoulder" the duties of matrimony. Yes, marriage needs extra effort and perseverance, but it will succeed with the right employee-like attitude. Remember, Saturn rules boss-subordinate relationship in the office. Work, slave, work!!~ 

Marriage before the age 28 tends to fail as time goes by. This is because Saturn transits and returns to its natal position every 28 years. So it is not advisable for one with Saturn in 7th to marry before the age 28, or else the union will rot slowly. It is better to wait patiently after your first Saturn Return finishes to marry.        

Uranus in 7th - Divorce & Separation

Two separate realms of existence 

Uranus, the ruler of Aquarius, is the lord of divorce. This cold and distant planet governs separations and long-distance relationships. When Uranus appears in the cusp of the 7th House, this indicates a character that is unsuitable for marriage because he or she prefers individualism and freedom to do their own things. The Aquarian / Uranian person is usually very intelligent and original in his thinking. However, such a person will insist stubbornly on his way of doing things. They have no room for personal differences. Due to their rigid insistence of maintaining their own ways, they develop a sense of superiority and arrogance as they view others as slow and stupid. They are quite impatient with slowness and stupidity (read: everybody else). They secretly think about how clever they really are.

A strongly Aquarian / Uranus person is a difficult person to live with under the same roof on a long-term basis. They are so mentally excitable, restless, and crave freedom and adventure to pursue their own activities in the society. Due to their restlessness, the Aquarian / Uranian person tend to keep a busy social life outside the house. These are the "permanently absent" spouses who often travel and are rarely home. These individuals keep wide social circles, have countless friends and acquaintances and are actively involved in the community. They are so popular that they are always in demand by the community. 

You and I

Bottom line is, the Uranus in 7th person will always value their own freedom and personal space. There is no concept of "us" in a marriage, there is only "you" and "I" who live together in a house. Even if they love their partner very much, circumstances may not permit them to stay together on a long-term basis. Through a twist of fate, they may be forced apart either through constant traveling or busy work schedule. However, I must say that it is usually the Uranus person who feels "trapped" or "constricted" in his or her lifestyle.  

In the event that such a person does marry, they will pick highly unusual partners - people you least expect. The partner can be much younger, much older, extremely tall, short, thin or fat, has a weird job or has a psychiatric condition. The partner can also be a genius - someone bright yet eccentric, like an Internet techie. Technology also plays a big part in the life of a Uranus person, and he or she has a marked appreciation for gadgets and devices. The original selfie queen is probably an Aquarius. 

Mars & Pluto in 7th - Violence in Marriage

"I will scratch your face!!"

Mars is a planet that you definitely do NOT want sitting in your 7th House. Known as a malefic planet in traditional astrology, Mars is a fiery, angry planet that radiates masculine energy. It is probably the most macho planet in the entire universe since Mars is named after the Roman God of War. Now you do not want the God of War sitting in your marriage house, trust me. Unless, of course, you like to fight. And you love arguments. And angry sex. That type of sex can be quite stimulating, after an entire day spent yelling at each other. Husbands can fully expect to dodge frying pans with this one. Wives can fully expect a very physical marriage. Couples will enjoy an energetic married life with passionate, rough sex, however, the drawback is the possibility of violence when taken to the extreme. 

In a Mars-dominated relationship, the couple will view each other as rivals or competitors. Marriage becomes a competition of egos to determine who wins or lose. They will try to outdo each other. Unfortunately, such a rivalry between spouses rarely ends on a good note. There will always be a bitter taste left in the mouth after the storm subsides. Couples make love and wage war with the same ferocity and vigour. One way to save a Mars marriage is to release the energy through sports. Couples who enjoy athletic and physically-demanding activities like hitchhiking, mountain climbing, scuba diving and bungee jumping can channel all those pent-up Mars energy into sports. Alternatively, they can try to keep a busy workaholic schedule so as to let out  their aggression via work.

It is extra bad for a woman to have Mars in 7th since it may curse her male partner to death. I have personally observed this to be true - several female clients with this have a dead husband via freak accidents.... Just be careful when Mars appears in the 7th of a lady.

Victims of the  volcano eruption

Next, we have Pluto in the 7th House. This is another malefic planet in the Descendant whose effect is to create explosive rage. That's right. Rage. This rage comes from suppressed anger over the years. Couples tend to bury their unhappiness within them and pretend to go with the flow. Their unhappiness will be not be aired out in the open, instead, couples resort to power struggles and subtle manipulation behind closed doors. They use passive-aggressive tactics to convey their dissatisfaction towards each other, while maintaining a happy facade to the external world. Nobody outside their close circles may be able to guess all those crazy things going on between those two. 

As the ruler of volcanoes, Pluto symbolizes buried rage, like lava hiding in the belly of the earth. After years of suppression, the volcano may erupt and the hot, boiling lava may annihilate entire nations. The force of eruption can be very sudden, but devastating to the marriage. Like a timebomb ticking, this marriage is bidding its time. Love and hate exists side-by-side in a Plutonian marriage, and the couple love and hate each other with equal intensity. They can rise to the highest of heavens when happy, and sink to the lowest of hell when angered.

Pluto in the 7th also denotes a domineering partner. This can be either one - the husband or wife. The bottom line is it will always be about power and dominance. The couple will try to manipulate each other into surrendering and giving up power to the other. One partner will be very bullying, and the other will be submissive yet resentful deep within. It goes without saying that a lot of this can be prevented if both partners are honest and open about their feelings to each other. Honesty is always the best policy if you have Pluto in 7th. Don't let the rage accumulate to the point when it becomes a volcanic eruption. On the other hand, a BDSM or master-slave relationship may be able to provide a healthy outlet to release all the Plutonian energy. 

Jupiter in the 7th: Advantageous Nuptials

Happy bunny marriages are seen with Jupiter 

When Jupiter sits in the 7th house, the individual gets a lucky and advantageous marriage. The first marriage will benefit the person, either by making him happier, richer, brighter or more sociable. The individual will marry an outgoing and sporty type of person - a partner with Sagittarian characteristics. Jupiter tends to bless the matrimony by expanding an aspect of the family - wealth, joy, friends, etc. Things will start growing more and more with the effect of a well-placed Jupiter. The keywords associated with Jupiter is "plentiful", "abundance", and "expanding". Thus the first marriage spouse tends to have those qualities. The native himself may grow more optimistic over time with a Jupiterian marriage. However, please note this effect only applies to a well-aspected Jupiter in the DC (an afflicted Jupiter may bring negativity instead).   

A likely scenario will be....

Marrying into wealth 

One possible effect is to marry into money, as the first spouse will tend to expand your financial situation. Your social circle after marriage may also grow larger to include friends from various walks of life. 

On the other hand....

Many, many partners 

Multiple marriages and polygamous relationships are quite common with this placement. With Jupiter in the 7th, we get serial husbands or serial wives - people who marry repeatedly and have a long list of spouses to boast of. The "expanding" effect of Jupiter applies here by multiplying the number of partners. The native feels very confident about marriage, and so does it again and again. It is almost 100% certain that this person will have more than one marriage in this lifetime.

Another common scenario is...

Interracial marriages

Interracial or mixed marriage is the most common effect of Jupiter in DC. The spouse will come from a totally different background - cutting across boundaries of race, nationality, religion, age & occupation. The chances of getting a foreigner partner is increased. This is because Jupiter rules over foreign lands, and a person will most likely meet the prospective spouse while studying or working abroad. 

The 7th House: Are you Built for Marriage?

The 7th House is the realm of marriage. Ruled by Venus and the sign Libra, the 7th describes your first marriage partner. It does not describe your lovers or sex buddies or flings (those are ruled by your 5th House) or any other hanky-panky you might had, including co-habitation. The 7th House is dead serious. It is soooo serious, you need to sign a legal contract binded by law, and that is why any relationship that requires you to sign a contract falls under the 7th Libra realm.... Note that Libra is represented by a pair of Scales.... scales of justice. The same scales that sits outside the court of law, with the goddess Nemesis weighting your faults... so yes, Libra is a very fair sign. The 7th House is also fair, that is why it prefers equal partnerships in the eyes of law. It wants husband and wife to share their duties and responsibilities towards each other. It is about commitment.

So how do you judge a good 7th House? How good or bad it is depends on the planets sitting in it and the planetary aspects they made. Chief to all these, is the 7th house ruler, or Descendant (DC) ruler. If a divorce, for example, is going to happen in future, the DC ruler is able to accurately predict using prognostic techniques. However, before examining the compatibility chart between 2 souls in a marriage, we need to ask you a critical question: Are you the marrying type? Are you suited to married life, or are you better alone? Astrology says some people are not built for marriage, while others thrive in it. Each individual has a different capacity for love, and they may not be able to give or receive love freely. To know this, always refer to the individual natal chart...

To ascertain if one is meant for marriage, and has a capacity for married life, there are a few conditions to be avoided in the natal chart. I present 3 of the most notorious ones...

Moon opposing or squaring Sun

When the Moon either squares or opposes the Sun, this person has a character unsuited for marriage. The individual has a severe identity crisis within himself / herself....there is a fierce inner conflict that cannot be resolved. This identity crisis has to do with gender identity confusion that is rooted in parental disharmony since childhood. Both mother and father are perceived to be totally separate units, not united at all. As a result, the individual cannot reconcile the male and female gender roles. I notice people with the Sun and Moon in hard aspects often struggle with traditional gender roles, and often behave in a way that do not reflect their inner reality. Their external image will always contradict their internal self-image. In other words, they are a walking bag of contradictions. Caught in a perpetual inner battle with themselves, they have a limited capacity for receiving and giving love. Marriage often fails, as they are often unaware of their own contradictions, and tend to have a stubborn character unwilling to change for others.

Ascendant opposing or squaring its own ruler

When the Ascendant (AC) is in hard aspects to its own ruling planet, this person may come across as too scary or too aggressive for others. He has an overwhelmingly strong appearance that puts people off immediately. Not many people can handle their killer "aura" or presence in the room, which provokes an instant gut reaction. Since the AC rules your physical appearance, the individual often comes into conflict with others due to their appearance. The message that is conveyed from their body language is very different from their true characters. Unfortunately, such a person is usually extremely stubborn, and does not get along too well with others who are not like-minded. As such, their presence can be seen as provocative. Marriages do not fare well. It is not advisable to marry in general. In the example above, Aries AC is opposing its own ruler, Mars.

Uranus sitting in the 7th / Descendant cusp

When Uranus is in the 7th House (DC), this is the classic divorce aspect in astrology textbooks. To be avoided at all costs. As the planet of separation, Uranus rules physical distance and will always create a distance between husband and wife. A couple cannot stay under the same roof for long. They must separate, either through traveling, or busy work schedule. I have seen a lot of long-distance marriages and perpetually absent spouses with this aspect in my clients' charts. The spouse will create excuses not to be at home. Uranus is also very selfish, self-centered and willful. The individual will never bend over to cater to anyone, and they will NEVER change. Not in a million years. The individual can never really enter into a proper partnership, since they value their personal space and individualism too much to sacrifice it for another person. The concept of partnership does not exist for them. Forget it. You will never be a unit together. There is only "I" and "you" who happen to live together. After marriage, "I" will continue my own activities, while "you" will do your own thingy. In the above example, Uranus is not only sitting in DC, it is also opposing the AC and Moon, which makes it doubly worse... An honest astrologer will never recommend marriage in this situation.